Shii Says:
I played hookey with my high school P.E. class because I felt this had to be done
Shii decided to show you this image:
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An easier way to storypanel this would be me on the ground in the first panel, then a shot with me facing the camera taking most of the panel standing up and dusting myself off, but behind me over my shoulder is a tall figure with looming red eyes. Next panel is me just standing there like the previous frame but looking to the side, like I think something is up behind me. Final panel is me screaming like a sissy and tackling the figure, which turns out to be a standup of kirk.
Like this:
Edit: I should shut up, because your drawings are far better than any I could ever do. This is about my limit when it comes to artistic creation.
Martin Random decided to show you this image:
Argali came out of the closet to say:
This was a great read. Thanks.
Curious - did any of this make your local newspaper?
Why would it? Nothing really happened. It was just a poorly kept rental unit and a crazy guy. Crazy people doing crazy things in the privacy of their own home isn’t news.
Skitzo came out of the closet to say:
You never do anything illegal, ever, yet .. you stole his stuff and wouldn’t give it back to him?
Well, very good story anyway.. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat lasagna for a lonnnggg time.
I was siezing it as security for the payments he owed me. That’s legal, to my knowledge. I’m not stealing them, I’m acting as a temporary bailor of his property until the debt is satisfied.
Skitzo came out of the closet to say:
Do you still have his stuff?
Yes I do. I have some kind of audio system which puts out way too much BASS for my enjoyment including subwoofers, speakers, and amp, an HP Pavillion computer, a sony walkman, an alarm clock/cd player combo, an electric toothbrush, assorted bottles of liquor, an assortment of VHS tapes, assorted pornographic magazines, and a large back massage device 
I also took his beer hat.
BluOtter came out of the closet to say:
Why do you think his girlfriend broke up with him? He sounds rad.
I understand that he had some emotional problems, which he kept under control through various substances. He would want to drink some beer to wind down and forget his problems, but beer would make him angry and combatative, so then he’d smoke some dope to cool off. Then he’d be too groggy so he’d do some jolt cola or cocaine. Then he’d be allllllllllright.
But seriously, he did things to alienate his friends, like punch people at parties, kick people out if they beat him at video games, and other jerkish stuff. I think this is what caused the breakup.
easyjo came out of the closet to say:
Just trying to get an idea of the so called “feces lasagne”
anything like this?
That’s actually pretty close. The fecal lasagna was more solid, though, and the top layer was just moist newspapers. The feces didn’t become apparent except at the edges and when the thing was prodded. The feces had the consistency of Bill Cosby’s pudding, with a little more thickness. I think if you got a gigantic knife and sliced the feces tub in two, the lasagna would have enough consistency to remain upright at least for a few minutes, before leaking over.
Edit: Make that stuff on the walls blood and feces, and add some insane scrawlings around the tub, remove the window, make the tub a shitty plastic dealy attached to the wall with a showerhead above it, and you have a dead ringer for the bathroom.
Fingers McGee came out of the closet to say:
Any thoughts about selling Jeds stuff on ebay? I think it would make a nice conversation piece, “Hey whats that?”, “Well thats crazy Jed the poo bather’s large black massage device.”
I’m waiting for a few years for the statute of limitations to run out before I do anything. By that time the items will probably be worthless. I am not going to artificially inflate their value by selling them to people who are enamoured with their history, because I don’t think that’s right.
Edit: And anyone willing to pay a higher price for an HP pavillion because it was owned by a shitbathing nazi should probably get some help before they end up like Jed.